surviving video game journalism

I opened a new blog category called “surviving video game journalism” in which I’m now documenting everything, because I guess arguing that our pain is valid is the new reality for me.

Journalists have a responsibility to protect vulnerable people. The way you write about this can impact someone’s ability to have a life afterward. It should not cost us a suicide in this space for you to finally acknowledge that.

“Abusing you was by the book” (documenting two years of abuse from Game Journalism, after sharing my #metoo… the whole painful story all in one place)

It has been about a full year since the Kotaku article that exploited my sexual assault, and exploited the other victims of my rapist, has been removed. A full year since I had to argue with journalists for my life, and trying to show them the extent of the harm this has caused. I am told that what I achieved was “unprecedented” (I hate that word). That articles don’t get removed without lawyers, this, that, or the other fancy thing only rich or powerful people have. Nevertheless, I don’t feel victorious. I feel burned out, abused, laughed at, and alienated....

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Thank You

As I’m sure you’re aware of, if you follow me on Twitter, or read this blog, I have been spending well over a year Tweeting everyday at Kotaku asking them to please DO SOMETHING (ANYTHING, PLEASE, JUST SOMETHING, AT LEAST DELETE THE ARTICLE, HELP!!?!?) about the harm that they caused for myself and the other sources that were abused for an article that Kotaku wrote about my rapist. It’s a long, drawn out story. I even opened a separate category on my blog because I wrote so much about this. If you’re not aware, you can read these things… An...

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Game Journalism Is Dead

This is long-form criticism with a clickbait headline. I’m writing this all again… Painfully aware of every bridge I have now burned as a result of standing up for myself, all the people who have been blocked by self-proclaimed game journalists with the word “leftist” in their Twitter bio, and the never ending cycle that this is going to continue to be. I have a pit in my stomach from knowing that so many people that supported me, publicly, have now been blocked by journalists here. I feel sick thinking that this is the way they decided to deal with...

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A very angry & venty blog post that I’m writing just to get shit off my chest…

This is an update to my situation: I am angry. I am writing this for the sake of venting… at the very most to keep documenting what has been happening. Writing feels like all I can do… I’ve been fighting for over a year with Kotaku, and then game journalism in general, to care about what they have done to survivors in this space (in terms of misrepresenting our stories). I’m not the only one this was done to by Kotaku and the same journalist. It’s a loop that I’m tired of talking about because it keeps spinning and getting...

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Surviving video game journalism (another post on journalism’s aversion to accountability, and addressing concerns about “the precedence” that humanizing sexual assault survivors sets)

Surviving video game journalism (another post on journalism’s aversion to accountability, how this abuse was NOT factually accurate, and addressing concerns about “the precedence” that humanizing sexual assault survivors sets):
Journalists have a responsibility to protect vulnerable people. The way you write about this can impact someone’s ability to have a life afterward. It should not cost us a suicide in this space for you to finally acknowledge that.

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“Relax, babe. It’s just business.” – Game Journalism

Contexts… i am still asking @kotaku, and game journalism, to please care about this.your treatment of sexual assault survivors (the vulnerable people you said you "believe" and "stand by") almost killed people.you have ignored it to no end.even when i gave you actionable things to do- https://t.co/OwuWrk8MSH pic.twitter.com/sagufCh2Nr — Nathalie Lawhead (@alienmelon) February 5, 2021 Gonna vomit. pic.twitter.com/oj7cCg1CBb — No Escape from Shitposting (@noescapevg) February 5, 2021 This post is a reaction to the news of Stephen Totilo’s leaving Kotaku, and why everything about how Kotaku, Totilo, and game journalism, has treated this situation is beyond… words. I write this...

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Killing us slowly – When your allyship stops short of doing the hard thing, when your solidarity turns against the people you once said you believe

For the last year I have been daily Tweeting at Kotaku, asking for accountability for how they treated me and other sexual assault survivors for their stories. I’ve gone over this so often. I’m on repeat. I’ve written blog post after blog post carefully explaining the situation. Showing proof of what was done in the form of screenshots. Sharing the account of others abused by this same journalist. Explaining that this nearly killed people. The harm that it caused to those vulnerable people exploited… Over and over and over again. I don’t know how else to say this. It placed...

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why are the lives of those that spoke up so worthless to you, but you so readily protect the abusers? (commenting on everything)

I’m am writing this post for a number of reasons. I don’t really know how to summarize it yet. I’m tired. It’s also partly a pre-emptive defense on the fact that a Youtuber, who had ties with Gamer Gate, made a video defending me. I think it’s fair to state that I have exhausted every possible option to bring attention to this, and what is still an ongoing struggle that feels like I’m fighting for my life. When I came forward about my assault, A LOT of people professed their support for me. Some pretty big and influential people reached...

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Cecilia D’Anastasio’s journalism is rape culture in a nutshell, and you all really need to start giving a shit about what this has done to survivors…

I’m writing this because today Cecilia D’Anastasio won another award for her journalism (Forbes 30 under 30), and no amount of information about how she has abused vulnerable people (her sources) is enough to make accountability happen. I said that I would write another post detailing what she has done to others. I would make this vague, and anonymize things, so that it doesn’t cause harm on those abused by her. This is that post. I hope this will serve as more information about why she should not be awarded for nearly killing people. Although I doubt it at this...

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Asking Kotaku for accountability, a collection of my threads (cries for help) all in one convenient place…

This is a short post that I will probably hide from the front page… The intention with this is to be a collection of all my threads in which I’ve been asking Kotaku for accountability for how they have exploited, lied to, and endangering sexual assault survivors. I’m putting all this in a post to keep track of the extend that I’ve been asking, and I’ve been ignored. After they covered metoo in games last time, and got lauded for “great journalism” by people that know what they did to us, I’ve made a point to tweet about it once...

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An open letter to game journalists: #metoo, fighting with surviving abusive reporting, and the fallout of not caring

If you follow me on Twitter then you will be familiar with what I’ve been going through, and the intention of this post. I announced that I would write an open letter to game journalists about all this, so this is that letter. My intention with this post is to completely share EVERYTHING about how my story was treated (this is mainly in criticism of Kotaku’s handling of this since they had access to legitimate sources which they pretty much universally shat on), the consequences this has had, how this has affected me, how this (the way the sources were...

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What it’s like sharing your #metoo with Kotaku (a cautionary tale)

Recently on Twitter I started talking about this now that some time has passed & i had time to process,i have a few things to share… this is advice & warnings to others that may have to call-out someone "famous" for sexual assault,if you have a friend going through this, please use this to help them! rt's appreciated.[TW] — Nathalie Lawhead (@alienmelon) January 8, 2020 It’s been on my mind a lot because of the repercussions of having the details of my sexual assault publicly aired on a major news site. My intention with this post is to be absolutely...

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