{"id":3646,"date":"2017-01-16T13:50:00","date_gmt":"2017-01-16T20:50:00","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/?p=3646"},"modified":"2017-01-16T15:10:15","modified_gmt":"2017-01-16T22:10:15","slug":"everything-is-going-to-be-ok-milestone-update","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/everything-is-going-to-be-ok-milestone-update","title":{"rendered":"Everything Is Going To Be OK (milestone update!)"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>I did it! Page 10 is done, and that means <strong>I did 10 minigames<\/strong>! AaAaaaAaaah!<br \/>\nI said I would make a big deal about having 10 done, because (for me) this means I just have to repeat what I did 3 more times to get to 40.<br \/>\n40 seems much more doable now.<br \/>\nSeeing that I started working on this in November, it&#8217;s taken me&#8230; what?&#8230; 3 months to get here? That&#8217;s a padded estimate. Wow! I think I can actually reach my goal! It&#8217;s doable.<br \/>\nYes!<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/nathalielawhead.com\/noodles\/_POST4\/IMG_PAGE6_DIALOGUE_200.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Ok, before I share more about it, I would like to cordially invite you to my alternative GDC event:<br \/>\n<a href=\"https:\/\/www.facebook.com\/events\/1424391431193471\/\" target=\"_blank\">Developers fantasizing about attending GDC because they can&#8217;t go<\/a><\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/nathalielawhead.com\/noodles\/_POST4\/GDC.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I started this thinking I might not be able to go. Seeing that I am now just realizing that this is probably going to be the case&#8230; you know financial reasons&#8230; I could afford traveling there, but not the pass to actually get in&#8230; I think it is best for me to put my financial resources into actually making a game. This is the responsible thing to do. I am adulting responsibly&#8230; but you know. Maybe something could still happen and I get a pass or get in somehow and can go a little&#8230; Such an emotional journey!<br \/>\nOk then.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/nathalielawhead.com\/noodles\/_POST4\/BACK_PAGE17.gif\" alt=\"\" \/><\/p>\n<p>The last couple of mini-games to Everything Is Going To Be OK have gotten pretty elaborate. They are more like mini-games than just &#8220;pages you interact with&#8221;. This is largely because I&#8217;m getting carried away with ideas.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/nathalielawhead.com\/noodles\/_POST4\/PAGE17_INTERACTION.png\" alt=\"\" \/><br \/>\n<img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/nathalielawhead.com\/noodles\/_POST4\/PAGE17_INTERACTION02.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/p>\n<p>I also like the direction a lot more since my last update. Some parts are just there for plain fun too, and have nothing to do with life stuff. I think it&#8217;s a good balance because it keeps things from getting too gloomy. Maybe I&#8217;m repeating myself from last updates&#8230;<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/nathalielawhead.com\/noodles\/_POST4\/internetidentityquiz.png\" alt=\"\" \/><\/p>\n<p>It&#8217;s also surprising how much generative stuff is getting in. I guess it is a fun thing to combine with interactive art.<\/p>\n<blockquote class=\"twitter-tweet\" data-lang=\"en\">\n<p lang=\"en\" dir=\"ltr\">trying a character generator. <a href=\"https:\/\/t.co\/YpdSlSo0ZQ\">pic.twitter.com\/YpdSlSo0ZQ<\/a><\/p>\n<p>&mdash; Nathalie Lawhead (@alienmelon) <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/alienmelon\/status\/820052241528692736\">January 13, 2017<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n<p><script async src=\"\/\/platform.twitter.com\/widgets.js\" charset=\"utf-8\"><\/script><\/p>\n<p>I have a post-it note with <strong>&#8220;OPTIMIZE!&#8221;<\/strong> written on it, so that&#8217;s definitely the next step. It does need some optimization (performance speaking). This is a thing you should do sooner, than later anyways.<br \/>\nWhat I plan to do next is update my builds, so I can share it with some people. I&#8217;m also submitting it to events because I think it is ready to start seeing the light of day&#8230; and get judged harshly&#8230; with the critical hammer of the art-police&#8230; ok. I&#8217;m getting carried away.<\/p>\n<p><img decoding=\"async\" src=\"http:\/\/nathalielawhead.com\/noodles\/_POST4\/PAGE4_SCENERY.gif\" alt=\"\" \/><\/p>\n<p><strong>~~~ (PERSONAL) THOUGHTS WHILE WORKING ON IT ~~~<\/strong><\/p>\n<p>Like I said often, this is a very personal game, and I&#8217;m putting a lot of my own story into it (actually it&#8217;s all &#8220;me&#8221;&#8230; but whatever, language).<br \/>\nSo some things I&#8217;ve been thinking about (while making this) in regards to &#8220;mental illness&#8221; (ptsd, depression, etc.)&#8230;<\/p>\n<p>Why do we call it an illness if everyone has one? What is normal? Why do I have to wear the stigmatization of trauma, and depression as a weight? It feels often like we don&#8217;t allow ourselves to be stronger than what is socially acceptable, or are allowed to see ourselves as beautiful for what we have survived and what we must live with.<br \/>\nCan&#8217;t we admit that we are normal for having this? We might even be admirable, respectable, and strong for how we live with it&#8230; I want to celebrate myself, not spiral.<br \/>\nI have lost count of how many &#8220;dark&#8221; life situations I&#8217;ve been in where I only had myself to pull myself up. Afterwards, you are greeted with a culture that tells you that you should be sad, and ill about it. As if you are only entitled to help after it happened. Why?<\/p>\n<p>Two main questions I keep asking myself (as I make this):<\/p>\n<p>Can&#8217;t we celebrate our problems, pains, anxieties, scars, or are we supposed to spend the rest of our life crying about them?<\/p>\n<p>Can&#8217;t we celebrate ourselves despite our brokenness or are we only allowed to do that if we are perfect?<\/p>\n<p>There are lots of initiatives to portray women with disabilities (example: amputees) as beautiful. There are calendars where they pose beautifully, and fashion lines catered to them, all exhibiting how gorgeous and strong they are. I think there was even a Ted Talk about this, but I can&#8217;t find it now.<br \/>\nBody positive imagery is also really starting to be a thing. You get the idea.<br \/>\nWhy can&#8217;t people dealing with mental &#8220;illnesses&#8221; have that?<br \/>\nI feel like (often while I make this) that I should be guilty about putting this in a positive or humorous light (I&#8217;m &#8220;making fun of&#8221;). Like the only emotion I am allowed to feel about my personal history, and problems, is dark cold grief (how you would portray it in art). Is that the only way I can allow myself to view this? It seems like it creates a constant cycle of guilt and depression then.<\/p>\n<p>Maybe there is a lot of creative ground to cover, and conceptions to overcome, regarding how I allow myself to view and talk about this.<br \/>\nAlthough I don&#8217;t know. I find working on this very cathartic. The end result is something that would speak to me.<\/p>\n<p>At any rate, these have been my thoughts lately&#8230;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>I did it! Page 10 is done, and that means I did 10 minigames! AaAaaaAaaah! I said I would make a big deal about having 10 done, because (for me) this means I just have to repeat what I did 3 more times to get to 40. 40 seems much more doable now. Seeing that I started working on this in November, it&#8217;s taken me&#8230; what?&#8230; 3 months to get here? That&#8217;s a padded estimate. Wow! I think I can actually reach my goal! It&#8217;s doable. Yes! Ok, before I share more about it, I would like to cordially invite&#46;&#46;&#46;<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":4522,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"fifu_image_url":"","fifu_image_alt":"","footnotes":"","_links_to":"","_links_to_target":""},"categories":[30],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-3646","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-games"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3646","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3646"}],"version-history":[{"count":2,"href":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3646\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3648,"href":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3646\/revisions\/3648"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/4522"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3646"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3646"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.nathalielawhead.com\/candybox\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3646"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}