So… I’m writing this story called “Tell Me Why, Robot Girls Don’t Ever Cry”.
It’s about a robot, being taught to be human by a psychiatrist overlord via a complex artificial reality.
It begins in a suburban environment where she (in the artificial reality) is being spied on by her “fake” ex. Nothing is real. It’s all a sophisticated delusion.
The series of events slowly increments into her being threatened to be kidnapped by him (or, as she describes it, “terrible things”).
He’s somewhat like the monster character (akin to mythology) that forces her personal growth. It’s a bit like mental torture for her since no one believes her, and she’s always on edge.
It begins as a really twisted thriller.
She eventually escapes, and her human “teacher” incrementally adds more trials for her to endure (ranging from fantasy icons such as Illuminati, aliens, Hollywood fame, the U.S. government, and marines, to her final dystopian suburban life).
The last test is institutionalization.
Because of her strength of character she breaks out of each of these “tests”, and (to her master’s dismay) ends up being more “human” than the human master. The master never wanted this, and harbors an odd type of dislike for her – doesn’t “get” her (hence the attempts to break her).
It’s going to be awesome. I’m totally psyched!
I’m thinking of turning this into an old-school adventure game.
Some Concept Art (part of the Slow Load Doodles):
Naturally (utilizing one of my talents for this) it’s also going to be thick with poetry. So it’s a bit like Shakespeare (for a lack of a better term).
Major portions will rhyme and be very similar to an old play.
Save Me A Place, Said The Caterpillar
(From Project: Robot Girl)
God, save me a place at the table
Heaven comes and hell can go
In strange death; change
Your appeal is sweet
No. I won’t bear any more
I’m carrying a heavy soul!
Peeling away grand lists of wrong
Swinging between what’s the use
Keeping count, and vowing counter-abuse
Grudges are a recipe for endless agony
Let it all go, burden and crutch
You know… I’m close enough
I can feel it, my place when I get there.
Disease you eat and eat too readily
Grief is a bottomless pit, really
If fact, it’s all consuming…
The world can be without me
Life can do unto one less
So save me a place at the table, God!
You know when I come I’ll be damn hungry.
Share joy away from here
Shower me with life, it’s fair to see
Break bread, tell tales far from disease
I’ll dance, sing, heavenly wings!
Because when change comes,
It’s a guest I’ll be ready to greet.
Disregard those glorious lectures concerning
None the wiser ethics on my belief
Do as you will because I’m not really human
All too sound advice, and critics of personality
Let them lecture, but lecture without me
Let it be, but be as it will without me
I feel divinely free in knowing
These wings will be worth showing
I’ll have lots to say in after-being
Story in plenty, you know, because it’s me
It couldn’t be easy, it had to be hard
And when things get dark, I’ll consider,
Said a hardened caterpillar;
Dear god, save me a place at the table,
I’ll be home in time for dinner.
String their nets high
Traps to show
Nectar, crimson, gold
A heart to entice
Hearts to snare
I want to buckle and fold
At times like these the world feels cold
But times like these
Are a testament to strength of soul
And I’ve got one to show
Hummingbird nets cast
How long will it last?
Great men do unspeakable things
The greater believe it helps them win
But greatness isn’t measured by the weight of sin
It’s measured by the strength within
What you do, and put another through…
“Greatness Ill excused!”
Are words of some cast-away muse
Hummingbird abuse serves us no use
It may temporally amuse, but soon it gets old.
When all the greatest have colors in true to show
Nectar, crimson, and another’s gold
I heard they’re collecting hearts
And wished upon stars
Messengers beating wounded drums
It’s a song to regret
Bitter notes in my head
Keep it so it can last
God knows they’re trying
Beating too fast, keep it from flying
You can keep it, hopefully from dying
Steal a heart, and greed makes one deaf then dumb
Feel my stolen heart thrum
Hummingbird trappers plotting soon enoughs
I can hear them
A message for the scheming
Greed makes us all dead
So come death, you among free men
These wounds hurt, but you can’t see them
For each evil, I feel less
For each blow to me
I grow all the more fearless
So come face me, dear bitter demons!
And tell them boldly that I too am a human being
Tell Me Why, Robot Girls Don’t Ever Cry
Knowing it’s your favorite toy,
My dear human boy,
I’ll tell you why
Robot girls don’t ever cry…
Their beauty is quite deceiving
They cannot feel, so don’t believe in
What she tries to say
And come what may, but that skin isn’t even real!
It’s made to appeal
And just so they know how a boy feels
This is an angry love letter from a real human being…
At any rate, she’s quite man made
And “man” is better to be, my dear
So, knowing she’s a scam,
My lovely human boy, yes you can
Take her to please you
It’s perfectly ok if you want to
Steel her heart, her mind, those artificial robot eyes
Or whatever beats inside, so oddly animated by
Electric dreams of butterflies
You could even try
To connect to her brain via satellite
Then pillow talk her lovely lies…
And so, my dear, you see sometimes
She may have the spunk to fake-cry
But those tears, be wary, like her skin
Are reality that’s but paper thin
Mimicry, at it’s best, ambition
She knows you’re watching and is making fiction
You know it’s true, she can be whatever you choose
Most believably, you have to hand her that
She’s not human!
That’s a fact…
come to collect
what is not owed
eat another piece
of mind, and soul
as the song goes
when it started
or how it ends
nobody knows… it beats me
beyond black or blue
it’s a different hue
taken along the way
before the king to, as they say,
give Ceasar his dues
but when Ceasar asks for more of you
what would you do?
placebo lies, and fake truths
all in due time,
as they come to take not what’s mine,
so, where would you hide?
when they come to collect a mind.
I’m facing impossible monsters
If the devil knew he’d attend too
There are many not just a few
When it comes to impossible monsters
I feel like I’m dying slow
So where did my future go?
With impossible fangs, and unbelievable jaws
Things I can’t stand…
As god is my witness,
I had it up to here with it all!
Turning me for every flaw
I’m in unrelenting hands
Conjuring mental escape plans
And off goes the siren!
Attempts fail, their grip, like iron…
A weight on my soul, freedom a long ago goal
Freedom, you’re impossible!
Where did my freedom go?
How I worry about those I love the most
Impossibilities can be deceiving
Who knows on whom the monsters will be feeding
I know, paranoia, she eats me
I sound delusional, and it grieves me
“I too, am a human being!”
But I blame me
For all the impossibilities here, when
Inflicted terror and dread
Gnaw at both heart and down beaten head
If the devil knew, he too would attend
As I’m kept here facing fear after fear
Impossibly wishing for a happy end.
These are troubled times, love
I don’t know if I’ll ever get out
With a face, any grace,
Slightly askew, or out of place
Glaring into monstrous jaws, then uncaring eyes
Men above the law, or I’ve sunk too low
Oh god, I don’t know…
But god, dear god, these seeds I did not sow
Grievous fruits endure, these are not mine!
Nevertheless I must eat
How it eats me relentlessly
Indeed then, these are desperate times
These times are strange, oh love
Despite reprise I’ve had enough
What lies ahead? Another birdcage? Soon enough…
I believe myself perfect someone let me be
Brilliant in every way, no wrongs to see
But hungry jaws invent theory, turning me for flaws
Come to devour dreams, and vision, breathing ambition
Tanners strip, butchers take too much and more
Ruptured heart left a sore, take it and it’s yours
Accusers keep what they call a whore
So burn a cross, just for me, and do remember to keep
The raging fires nice and warm…
Nevertheless, despite burning flame or fiery ember,
These are dark times, my love
These are lost days, love
Hopeless I fought to perhaps see better
Bottomless sinners might as well be winners!
When I’m blinded by what seems never-ending winter
Perhaps I need a savior to save what’s left of mine
Oh, god where are you? My god, sole co-creator
Remember me, please? My god, soul maker,
In my beauty; honor, in my divine; strength
So by all that’s divine, there’s nothing to resent
In me, dreaming stars, reaching cosmic art
And when woman dare call herself god’s muse
You know she’s a force to be reckoned with
It’s no use, so spare her abuse.
I’ve had more than I can stand, lies then theoretic truths
And this… This is the bitter aftermath.
The desecration of the feminine
Is the desecration of god’s most perfect creation
These are strange times for love…
How Much More?
How much more, god?
“As much as you can stomach and more!”
Grief, fear, then dread…
A crown of thorns
To decorate my head
Weave a robe of dry tears long ago shed
Bitter jewelry to hang from my ears
They will wear me till I’m dead
How much more, god?
“I don’t think you’ve suffered quite enough!”
Here’s relief, but I’ll call it a bluff
None for me, and I know what’s rough
When god says to you, he wants no love
But submission, and soon enough
Knees buckle, barb wire heart hung
Grief in the stomach, to fill the lung
Too melodramatic? Then how would you like it sung?
Up, down, or sarcastically cheery?
It’s the same feeling felt till I’m weary
So how should I wear my tired head
When god answers but rarely?
Hope I drink of you till I’m drunk
Because when god does, my heart all but sunk
The odds aren’t divided fairly…
But there’s a spark!
Some divine insinuation when it gets too dark
Either ridicule, solemn sympathy,
Or bottomless hope in a hopeless situation
Something to feel in me
Still, I consistently return to the beginning
Yes, god, it’s me that you hear singing
Since I’m so decorated with punishment before any sinning
Asking of you, from desperate to gently,
How much more, god?
Your trials are far too plenty.
I’ve said it before
You’ve heard it and still hear it all more
Thorns how you like it, stones for the feast
Reap what’s not sown, all crops for the beast
God grant me a miracle, just this once, please
God take my burden, god let me be free
No, By Robot Girl (Excerpt)
No… No should not affect how I’m treated, and no, it does not exhibit poor judgement on my part.
No, I am a human being, and no, you don’t have a right to belittle me as if I don’t know what’s good for me when I say ‘no’.
And no, ‘no’ is a wonderful word and should not be used sparingly.
No is a statement to be used by women and respected by men.
No, I did not sleep with anyone, and no it’s none of your business.
Then again no, even if I did it shouldn’t make any difference.
No, we did not have a relationship, and no I shouldn’t be forced into one by his friends, peers, or co-workers.
And most certainly no, it’s no secret. We where friends and I insisted it stay that way.
No, it does not mean I’m afraid to move forward, it means I respect myself and the counterpart.
And no, it’s not fair that there are repercussions to me, my reputation, and gossip can be ruthless, so no!
No, I am not seductive or flirtatious, I am charmingly beautiful. Oh, and no, I know the difference, and no that previous statement was not egotism or self-flattery, so get over yourself. Women can be funny too.
No! Just because I laughed at your joke doesn’t mean I’m into you. It means it was a funny joke.
No, saying ‘no’ shouldn’t affect my position, get me treated like I’m mentally inept, need special care, or am somehow bellow the level of respectable consideration.
No, It’s honestly none of your business, and no, you can take what I say at face value. I really meant it when I said ‘no’.
No, you don’t have a right to psychoanalyze me, crucify me, gang up on me, harass me, or paint me in any negative light as if I’m ‘the bad guy’ when I clearly said no and left it at that…
P.S. Minor Public Update:
Again. I’ve been having a lot of trouble with my email accounts.
If you’ve emailed any of my accounts, starting at the begging of this year and I have not replied (or otherwise), please try again HERE.