(For Part I click’ere, For Part II click’ere!)
I have a friend that is often harassed for being a committed single (meaning he has no interest in relationships). One reason is that he is “financially well-off and has no reason to consistently avoiding relationships”… I share his views in the matter.
He was telling me how, the other day, he was walking to Radio Shack, with his friend, and two women approached him and started “hitting” on them (yes, women hit on men).
The ladies asked for my friends number and he, as usual, declined.
The other guy gave them the number, and, as usual, comforted my friend as to why he wouldn’t give them his number.
My friend replied, “Because there’s no incentive.”
To which the guy replied, “Isn’t sex enough of an incentive!?”.
My friend simply stated, “No, that’s a burden.”
This caused a long moment of silence. Apparently it got the guy to “think” (yes, guys think).
A couple days later the girl was calling the guy up telling him he was the “only way to straighten up her life” and the usual set of argumentative traps opportunists throw at individuals more successful then themselves.
Now he’s left to ignoring a phone that is ringing off the hook.
“Committed singles” rest their case. ;)
It is my opinion that there are two sides to a human.
One is the great weird unknown paradox that religion is trying to understand but fails.
The other is the physical and scientific paradox.
The apparent mistake is that we separate the two sides.
One is used for reproducing.
The other is the very sensitive spiritual side that involves family, bonding, and spiritual/emotional unity between two individuals.
If you’re trying to engage in a relationship just to satisfy physical urges (a human has the ability to conquer physical urges easily, the mind is very powerful), and if you admit this to yourself, you quickly see the offensive and inferior consequences of what this means.
I don’t want a relationship (I’m to smart for that circus) and have absolutely no emotional desires for one, as I have no emotional “holes” to fill.
Implying that I need one almost offends me. I consider myself too strong for one, and value my independence in the spiritual sense too much. Many great spiritual leaders, Buddha, Jesus… abstained from relationships. I’m in NO way implying or claiming that I am anywhere NEAR these individuals, but I strongly believe that, if you are searching for enlightenment and “the truth”, then any type of relationship is a burden and liability. If you are a well rounded and “complete” individual you see how important it is to stay single so you can “grow” properly. It’s not that I’m not a believer in love or family, but I believe the “commercialized” human is very weak spiritually and emotionally (a good consumer is a weak individual). Commercial civilization produces individuals that are spiritually weak. They have been taught to disregard this aspect of themselves because it is “superstitious” and primitive. If you have no fear of yourself you will not turn to others to distract yourself from yourself, and you will (more importantly) not turn to material goods for fulfillment. Strong people are bad shoppers.
I have no spiritual desire to find a companion because I believe there is no one out there that will share the same traits that I have. When I relay this to people they throw the Hollywood line “you just haven’t found the right one yet” at me. It fascinates me how robotic and mainstream their arguments are. It’s so twistedly-Utopian on so many levels it’s fascinating to listen to, but what should one expect from someone that grew up in a materialistic society? Nothing is sacred, you can have whatever you want (on a superficial level, of course), why not “love”? But this makes “love” a commodity and makes the act of “loving” terribly fabricated. Love is then only used to satisfy the physical desires, to further ones level on the “social ladder” (get ahead by using another’s emotions as a stepping-stone), and create a “family” because “that’s just what every accomplished woman/man has to do”. In the end kid’s are caught in the middle of a messy divorce. Welcome to the world! By all means, please don’t learn from the adults.
People seem intimidated by committed singles for two reasons:
One; they wish to satisfy their physical desires and react like a drug addict, or alcoholic (someone chemically addicted) would when you turn down or provoke their chemical addiction…
Or two; they have something that happened in their life and have trouble coping with it and continuously fill this “hole” with relationships…
Another, more critical point, to consider is that if you’re an artist, relationships can become a very dangerous thing in the emotional sense. Artists are especially susceptible to abuse. Considering myself one, I can make this claim. Artists are naturally very in-tune to their emotions, and have a natural drive to be creative. They must create. They end up “not spending enough time” with their significant other, and the relationship is “over”… or the significant other ends up cheating on them because they are in that relationship for “consumer” reasons. In a supportive environment “artistic” relationships may be possible, but again I believe a modernized, commercial individual is unable to be anything but realistic. Consumers consume, so why not “consume” in a relationship as well?
It seems that this is such a big issue for people because religion tried to explain one half of it, and made an issue out of it, and science tried to explain the other, and made an issue out of it, so now its one big issue, and you really can’t be openly single anymore. It’s almost faced with as much prejudice as gays and lesbians are.
It’s become such a complicated issue discussing any “non-standard” views on love, in a civilized manner, is near impossible.
Real relationships are not possible, in my opinion, because people are not honest with themselves about themselves, and start one out of dishonest reasons. Love fails in our modern society, because of all these misconceptions about what a relationship is, and what love is.
On another note… TZIGANI IS THE NEW GANGSTA!
