It’s been about a year and a half since my cellphone’s been able to receive voice mail. It’s the oddest thing. People call, leave a message, and I can do nothing about it but watch the numbers escalate. I feel like a war-criminal. There is no word to describe the feeling of helplessness I have. Suddenly voice-mail just stopped working. I keep thinking that there is this satellite floating in space with 300+ messages on it, and one day the weight of all these messages will set it on a collision course to Earth where it’ll enter the atmosphere at such high velocities the impact will be so powerful it’ll wipe out all life on this planet. I mean, I may be the reason the human race will end! Wow. That’s a real weight on my conscience. Like a true American I took maters in my own hands and relayed my concerns to Verizon. They replaced the phone. It even came with a REMOVE BEFORE USE sticker on the LCD. In protest I’m not removing it. No machine will tell me what to do, that’s the beginning of the Robot Uprising right there. I’m not standing for that. I’m a patriot!
Happy Thanksgiving!